Thursday, October 1, 2009

Topic sentence- Kristen P

Being with her lover, and having him to herself is the one thing that she truly values and cares about when making decisions.
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7 comments:

  1. Hope173October 1, 2009 at 7:15 AM

    Very strong topic sentence! I love how you focus on one thing, instead of crunching many small details into your topic sentence! I love it! =)

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  2. Caitlin NOctober 1, 2009 at 7:15 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Anna2013October 1, 2009 at 7:19 AM

    Great sentence!! I would just say that you might want to change "yourself" to "herself". But otherwise i LOVE IT!! Great job Kristen!!!

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  4. Caitlin NOctober 2, 2009 at 6:50 AM

    you could try to add more and use better word choice to add detail but other than that I LOVE IT

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  5. AbbyJHOctober 2, 2009 at 6:52 AM

    That is so true Kristen I love your word choice. :)

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  6. Hope173October 2, 2009 at 7:01 AM

    Perfect! Awesome! Great! LOVE IT! ;) <3!

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  7. Caitlin NOctober 2, 2009 at 7:03 AM

    Yep much better love it!!!!

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